You’re reaching out on LinkedIn.

You’re sending DMs to potential clients, partners, or colleagues, hoping to build relationships and spark real conversations.

You know LinkedIn is a powerful tool for professional networking, and you’re investing time in crafting messages that you think will stand out.

But despite your effort, you’re seeing minimal results:

• Your messages are ignored or left on “read”
• Some get marked as spam, damaging your credibility
• You’re not turning conversations into real opportunities

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many professionals struggle with this, they’re putting in the effort, but their DMs fall flat or worse, get flagged as unwelcome.

In this article, we’ll explore why your DMs might be getting ignored and how to write LinkedIn messages that are welcomed, read, and replied to, without being pushy or salesy.

Understanding the Problem: Why Your DMs Aren’t Getting Responses

It’s not about how many messages you send, it’s about how you send them.

Too often, messages are generic, impersonal, or come across as salesy, and that’s exactly what gets them ignored or marked as spam.

Here are some of the main reasons your DMs aren’t hitting the mark:

1. No personalization

If your message feels like it could be sent to anyone, it won’t stand out, and it might get ignored altogether.

2. No clear value or relevance

People are busy. If your message doesn’t quickly show them why it matters to them, it’s easy to dismiss.

3. Too pushy or self-promotional

Messages that jump straight to pitching a product or asking for a meeting feel transactional, and they’re likely to be met with silence.

4. No understanding of your recipient’s world

If you’re not showing that you’ve done your homework or that you genuinely care about their needs, your message will feel like noise.

How to Fix It: Writing LinkedIn DMs That Build Real Conversations

The goal isn’t to “sell” in your first message, it’s to start a conversation.

Here’s how to do it:

Step 1: Do Your Homework Before You Hit Send

Before you even write your DM, spend a few minutes understanding your recipient’s world.
Look at:

• Their LinkedIn profile and activity
• Recent posts or comments they’ve made
• Their company page and any big news (funding, launches, team changes)
• Shared interests, industry trends, or mutual connections

Why it matters:

It shows you’re not just interested in them as a lead, you’re interested in their work, their voice, and their perspective.

Step 2: Make It Personal, Not Generic

Personalization is the fastest way to stand out in a crowded inbox.

Instead of:
❌ “Hi, I’d like to connect with you about my services.”

Try:
✅ “Hi [Name], I saw your recent post about [Topic] and loved your perspective on [specific point].”

Mentioning something specific about their work or interests shows that you’re not just sending a mass message.

Step 3: Lead With Value, Not With a Pitch

Your first message should offer something of value, not immediately push for a sale or meeting.

Examples of leading with value:

• Share a relevant insight, article, or resource they might find helpful
• Offer a perspective on a challenge they’ve shared publicly
• Ask a thoughtful question that shows you’re engaged with their content

When you focus on giving first, you create a foundation for genuine conversation.

Step 4: Keep It Short, Clear, and Conversational

Long, dense messages are overwhelming, and people are likely to skip them.

• Aim for 3–5 sentences max
• Use clear, simple language
• End with a friendly, open-ended question (not a hard ask)

Example of a concise, value-driven DM:
“Hi [Name], I loved how you approached [specific topic or project]. What sparked that idea in the first place?”

Why it works: People love to talk about themselves, and asking thoughtful questions taps into that natural instinct.

Step 5: Follow Up (Without Being Annoying)

Not everyone replies to your first message, and that’s okay. A polite follow-up can show genuine interest and keep the conversation alive.

Tips for following up:

• Wait at least 3–5 days before sending a follow-up
• Reference your initial message and gently ask if they had a chance to see it
• Keep it short and friendly

Example follow-up: “Hi [Name], just wanted to bump this up in case it got buried. No rush at all, would love to hear your thoughts when you have a moment!”

Mini Case Study: How a Cybersecurity Recruiter Turned Ignored DMs Into High-Value Conversations

Let’s see how these strategies play out in real life.

Background:

A cybersecurity recruiter was reaching out to CISOs and security leaders on LinkedIn, hoping to spark conversations about their hiring needs. But despite sending dozens of messages each week, the results were disheartening:

• Very few replies
• Occasional polite “not interested” responses
• No real conversations or new opportunities

The problem?

Their messages were generic and too focused on their own services:
“Hi, I’m a recruiter specializing in cybersecurity. Let me know if you need help with hiring.”

These outreach attempts felt like cold pitches, not like genuine conversations.

The pivot:

Instead of focusing on pushing their services, we shifted their approach to authenticity and relevance.

Step 1: Research and personalize

We took time to look at each security leader’s LinkedIn activity:

• What challenges or trends were they discussing?
• Any posts hinting at team growth or hiring struggles?
• Shared articles about incident response, cloud security, or compliance?

Step 2: Lead with insights, not a pitch

We rewrote their DMs to focus on sharing helpful market insights, rather than trying to close a deal.

For example:
“Hi [Name], I noticed you’re growing your security team. I’d love to hear your thoughts on what qualities you look for in top incident response candidates. Any advice you’d share?”

Step 3: Keep it short and low-pressure

We kept their messages short, 3–4 sentences max, and positioned them as invitations to connect, not hard asks.

Step 4: Follow up lightly

If there was no response, they waited a week and sent a friendly follow-up:
“Hi [Name], just checking back on this. No rush, but let me know if it’s something you’re working on right now.”

Results after 8 weeks:

• Reply rates jumped from under 10% to over 40%
• More than 15 meaningful conversations with security leaders
• Booked 6 discovery calls, and closed 2 new retained search agreements worth $40,000 in fees

The takeaway?

When you’re writing LinkedIn DMs, stop trying to talk about yourself.

Instead, ask them about them.

Because everyone loves to give advice, share their perspective, and feel like their voice matters.

Why it worked:‍

1. Personalization: Each message was tailored to the recipient’s challenges.

2. Psychology: Sharing insights or giving advice feels good, it positions the recipient as an expert, not just a lead.

3. Relevance: Instead of generic pitches, we shared valuable market insights.

4. Low-pressure: They focused on opening the door, not closing the deal in the first message.

Conclusion: Conversations, Not Cold Pitches

LinkedIn DMs can be a powerful way to grow your business but only if you treat them as genuine conversations.

• Do your homework and make each message personal and relevant
• Lead with value, not your offer
• Keep it short, friendly, and low-pressure
• Follow up in a way that respects their time and attention

You don’t need to spam hundreds of people to see results.
You need to connect with empathy and authenticity.

Ready to turn your outreach from ignored to engaged?
Start by shifting your mindset, and watch how your inbox (and your pipeline) transforms.

Ready to stop sending DMs that get ignored and start sparking real conversations?

We can help. Book a free strategy call with Stop The Scroll to see how we turn cold outreach into real, qualified opportunities with a proven, human-first approach.